Scientists Know Shit
“Hey scientists! We caught this real weird looking fish the other day.”
“Weird looking, huh? Well here, do you see it in any of these pictures of trout, sharks, whales, dolphins, or every other fish on the planet?”
“No scientists, we don’t. But it looks like this drawing in this book on dinosaurs.”
“My fisherman friend. My poor, demented, mentally unstable fisherman friend. That fish has been extinct from this planet for over 65 million years! Silly fisherman. Get the fuck out of here.”
“But we have it in our truck. It’s big and weird!”
“Fine. Let us see it. Oh yes. It’s some kind of deformed wafflelikkee fish. Eat the thing and go away.”
“Go away. We are scientists. We told you what the fish was and what it wasn’t. We are scientists. We know.”
No they don’t. Ever hear of the coelacanth? Yep that fish that supposedly HAS BEEN EXTINCT FOR OVER 65 MILLION YEARS is alive and well and doing fine living and reproducing happily in the earth’s oceans, thank you very much.
“That is totally and absolutely impossible, Phil. None of that is true. This is fact. We are scientists. We know.”
No. You scientists know nothing. You know shit.